So tired. Four hours of sleep. Less than that, even if not discounting the insomnia. I don't think I will get much more sleep when I move to New York. Not on a Monday, at least. I could hardly keep up today at work.
I spent more than an hour, nearly two hours, preparing for my final DJing for this little city. I don't know why I put so much effort into it. Did I agree to do it because I wanted to make a final impression for the city (of just a few dozen dancers). A final connection? Was it a way to connect with that girl I am having so much drama with but now it seems the drama is way bigger than even tango. Was it my love for the music so that I would spend these precious two hours going through some of the new stuff and listening through the old ones, instead of sleeping?
I wanted to write about my conversation before the milonga yesterday. A conversation with hopefully a new friend about the many facets of modern day "relationships". But I am too tired. The bed is screaming at me. I say goodbye to my iPad, the final night it will be with me, waking me up for the last time.
It's always sad to say good bye, even if the future is beautiful. It's therefore even sadder when the future is rather murky. I am more scared than I realized about this move. Especially now when my life is so full of dramas and unexpected problems. But if I can get through this alone, with my friends' support, I will feel stronger.
Now, strength needs rest!
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