The train schedules are in some chaos. The one I was waiting for got canceled so I had to walk to the main train station. Then they consolidated the next two trains into one, so a crowded one, for sure. Too bad for the people planning on taking the later of the two trains because the consolidated one left before the second train.
And so I sit here, wondering what train I was on. Seems like time got shuffled. But at least I was on a train. It's Bridgeport and I am surrounded by people. A lady behind me is complaining that so many trains were canceled. We complain about a lot of things, not judging her, but noticing that we, human beings, have a tendency to complain about every little or big thing in our lives. We sometimes even complain that people complain so much.
I looked at these two ads in front of me for a bit. They were ads of sitcoms for the same cable channel. One is called "Hot in Cleveland", and the other, "Retire at 35". My initial reaction was, wow, what stupid titles for undoubtedly stupid shows. It's not the first time I have had such opinions from looking at cable show ads. But I am still so amazed by the stupidities out there on tv land (and the cable channel is called "TVland"). And, perhaps condescendingly, I feel sorry for all these complaint-prone human beings who apparently fail to see or confront or, better yet, enjoy, the drama and comedy in their own lives and instead have to turn on a machine to find enjoyment, escape. One time I put my foot down an ranted about how lame Bollywood movies were. But then a local Indian said, almost apologetically, that they were the greatest sources of escape for the billion Indians out there, most are poor, many live in such abject misery that they really need to see something watered down, rosier than their own unbearable lives.
So we complain regardless of our own backgrounds. Most Americans don't live in the misery most Indians have to bear. Yet, instead of complaining about lack of clean water or threat of starvation, they complain about the train not running on-time, or traffic jams, or the meanness of a co-worker. Ironically, many Indians, many poor people in the world, don't complain about their misery, as if misery brings out always enough toughness in us that allows us to move beyond the very misery from which this toughness was born.
That is not to say that the privileged Americans are big babies. I just find it interesting that no matter where we are in life, in the ladder of resource accumulation, we always have something needing to complain about. Humans are made to feel uncomfortable for the smallest things. I complain now that typing on the iPad sucks.
The woman sitting next to me has a louis vuitton bag. It looks real. I asked her where she got it from. I was both curious and, of course, can't resist connecting a little to an attractive young woman. She said it was a Christmas gift. Then i noticed her sparkling diamond ring. I wonder what she complains about. She is reading "Glamour" now. She suddenly seems so foreign to me now. Sitting next to me, she seems to be in a different world, on one of those exogalactic planets scientists are discovering. I don't know any friend, besides the Italian one, that reads fashion magazines, and even the Italian would not just because she dresses too well for an American magazine.
So I guess my complaint of the day is a continued sense of disconnection from people around me. I don't get to see my friends much. I feel more connected with people at work, but they lead such different lives. They think it's interesting i cook for myself. I think it's amazing they are all married. I often stand by one of the many windows, looking out to the highway always with a lot of cars, and at this height of six stories, I look at the lives around me, in front of me, speeding by, and i wonder almost out loud, where am I? I am in a consolidated train.
And where am I going? To New York. At least for today to see my parents for Chinese New Year. And to dance, and connect with those tango people. I don't really know them, but a few I started to get to know on a non-tango basis. That's where I'm heading to.
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