I laugh a lot at my work. One would not expect that from a banking environment, particularly not an investment bank environment. But the cause for my daily laughter has little to do with the nature of this finance firm. Before I explain, I do want to say that this bank isn't like the stereotype, and isn't like Goldman Sachs when I was there for the two long interviews. People are more relaxed, perhaps because it used to be a hedge fund before being bought by the megalithic British bank. And my manager smiles more than one should expect from an investment bank manager. However, his boss rarely smiles.
The reason I laugh a lot is the comical interaction between my supervisor and the other guy that works for him and with me. (My manager isn't my supervisor, who also has him as a manager. My manager is the guy that reviews my progress, but he is otherwise very off-hand, trusting me and my supervisor in getting me to do the best for the firm.) The "other guy" is really not that bright, but that's all right. That doesn't make things necessarily comical. He is quite a character, however. Combined with his ignorance and a mix of exaggerated ignorance and denial of ignorance. For example, today, he was not ashamed to say that he was being "sneaky" because he couldn't figure something out. The supervisor replied, "I am not if that makes me feel better." The "other guy" (that's the Korean guy, if you recall) said tester, "One day I will be as good as him in C#" ("him" meaning me and "C#" is the language he is struggling with, among other things). I simply said, "I am flattered" and the supervisor chuckled. In that "other guy's" absence the supervisor would sometimes shake his head and say, "I worry about that guy sometimes" or "He drives me mad." (Recall that he's English and they say "Mad" to mean crazy, not angry.) The other guy is always in need of the supervisor's help, and the supervisor has a great sense of humor, for otherwise, he would just feel he's wasting more time than saving it from having this extra "help". And when they are sitting together so the supervisor can help the poor guy with something that boggled his mind ("boggle" is a word the other guy used today when he tried to be clever but failed to solve a problem for me), I can hear a lot of sighing and not a small amount of sarcasm coming from the supervisor. It's hard to describe their interactions, but the combination of the supervisor's British sense of humor and the other guy's unabashed ignorance, I get a good laugh.
In some ways I feel bad for this man. He isn't really knowledgeable about what he is expected to do. From what I have seen in the code he has written, it's obvious that he has had no significant training in fundamentals of computer science. He is just copying what he has learned and reapply it and modify it until it works. That's a great way to learn hands-on but without some basic understanding of computer science, it becomes frustrating and the product becomes very poor in quality. He also isn't very driven. He complains a lot about our manager, about the job. He doesn't have any ambition. He is unashamed to say he's afraid of his wife, that he gives in to her all the time. And on the phone with his non-coworkers he sounds very childish. Sometimes you would mistaken his conversations to be that between six-year olds. I wonder what future holds with such a person. He has enough money to live comfortably, and big screen TVs and nice cars don't give him any reasons to be ambitious. He isn't trying to learn anything new.
One thing he is good at is being friendly to everyone. He hates confrontation (and since I don't always avoid it, I have come to the brink with him and seen how he backs off in a very friendly way). Although he did get into an incident with a driver on the road that resulted in the man coming out of his car and punching the hood of his car, resulting in a dent. And my coworker decided to sue the man and now after many court proceedings he won the suit but only got first half of the compensation. He is still waiting for the other half, and he does complain about it. So maybe not confrontational with people he has to see almost everyday.
At lunch he complains too, and when he isn't complaining, he talks about eating at Chipotle's, his favorite place. Maybe I am being arrogant, but somehow his whole attitude in life depresses me. Maybe that contributes to me laughing when he acts deliberately or unintentionally dumb with our supervisor. My supervisor is a different story. He's rather cynical. He feels trapped. He wants to leave and golf everyday, but he can't. He has a son, perhaps a daughter, too. His wife is up the stairs literally and also on the corporate ladder. He loves her a lot, and I think that gives him a lot of joy and hope. But his job gives him very little reward. Perhaps that's one reason he likes to poke fun at the poor boy. He is never mean, but his sarcasm is a source of his relief.
His buddy that I briefly mentioned in the first blogs is another source of depression. He's in a worse state than my supervisor. Nearing the end of his middle-age. Prefers also to be golfing instead of sitting among all those Bloomberg terminals (these are computers finance people use to get all the data they need). The worse problem for him is that he is lazy. I could see it in his face in the beginning, and this month that I started to work on his projects, I realize I was right. He doesn't work long hours, and he is often not at his desk. His sarcasm can sometimes be biting, turning more into complaints.
Contrast to him is another guy that I have been working with. He's much younger, younger than me. He's motivated, and gets me what I need to help him in a very timely manner. His team is motivated and I can see the contrast in the energies between his team and that middle-age man's team. This younger man is teaching himself more advanced finance whenever he has time. He always eats lunch at his desk, and he usually comes in before me and leaves after me. I use myself as an example because I work a little more than most people on my floor, judging by how empty the place is when I come to work and when I leave.
Youth has its energies, I suppose. But youth isn't defined by age, either. This "other guy" is the youngest of all the people I have mentioned now, and he seems so old with his sighs, complaints, and monotonous and repetitive praises for Chipotle's food.
Me, where do I fit in? I enjoy my work. Still very often I look forward to going to work, even after less than four hours of sleep. I don't feel I am learning as much as I was at the beginning, but I still am. This weekend I have one guest, my art buddy. But I hope to find some time to study some finance. Saturday night I am invited to a party, for the first time since moving to New York. Not bad after just a month and a half. Then Monday I am going to another party, a bachelor's party. I have never been to a bachelor's party. I have said I wanted to spend time with men, and Monday I will have plenty of that. They are talking about going to a gay bar and inviting a "tranny" stripper (that I found out soon meant transvestite). If that happens I will be a new man. All my homophobia will be put out in the wind of open-mindedness. My work is good. New York is good to me. One step at a time. Taking care of my own garden.
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